Cat Chaser : Chapter One

Written on August 2nd, 2010 by Adam in Cat Chaser

Actually, hang on a minute, I’m getting ahead of myself here aren’t I?  Sorry.  That  happens sometimes.  I suppose that seemed to be the most important bit.  In the storeroom but in actual fact it probably isn’t going to make a great deal of sense until I tell you about what happened before.

Sorry.  It’s just that I think you need to understand how these things come together.  I didn’t just wake up in a storeroom full of people like that.  Stuff happened first.  I should tell you about it, I think.

Well, it was my first day, my first proper case.  Mr Forsyth, the head of the agency, had called me to his office to brief me personally.

Apparently that never usually happens so as you can imagine I was absolutely crapping myself.  And that just exacerbates the narcolepsy.
I mean, I knew that he knew about it but I didn’t want it to screw up the chances of me keeping this job.  Not on the first day.  Not in the first briefing.

Fortunately for me Forsyth was a talker.  He loved the sound of his own voice and didn’t pay a great deal of attention to anything else that was going on around him.  There was, of course, another side to this.  I wasn’t entirely convinced that he hadn’t simply employed me as a comic aside.  In which case he was just waiting for me to fall asleep.

And, again, that just made it worse.

“So,” Forsyth had been in monologue mode for a minute or so but he seemed to be coming to a point of sorts.  “Your first case, my boy.”

“Yes?” I said.  I couldn’t help feeling a bit of excitement underneath everything else.  I mean, I was going to get to be a private detective.

“I’m really looking forward to it.”

He laughed and patted me on the shoulder then turned to face a painting of someone fat and monocled on the wall behind him.

“You will begin by


gone missing. This is your number one priority. Lava Corp are absolutely rabid to get their property back as you can imagine.”

My head snapped upright and I inhaled sharply.

“Are you getting all of this?” said Forsyth, turning to face me once more.

“Er,” I said.  “So far so good.  Number one priority.”

“Yes.  Indeed.  We’re going to lock the shutters of the shop.  That way there’ll be no escape for your prize.”

“My prize?”

The prize.  Fancy a brandy?”

“Er, no.  Thank you but no, I’d better not,” I said, the wave coming back.  I had to get the prize.  What prize?  Oh shit.

“Probably for the best.  Don’t want you drunk as well as falling asleep on the job do we?” he turned to a small table on the other side of the office.  “So, where was I?  Oh yes.  Vince from Lava Corp was fairly convinced he knows whoever has stolen their property personally.”


“Well, stands to reason doesn’t it?” Forsyth snapped.  “Don’t interrupt again.”


“Okay.  Taxidermy


quite the tricky character this Ms Pingoveno.  Never trust a woman who calls herself Ms, eh Clint my boy?”

I opened my eyes as wide as I could, trying to pin them to my skull.  Forsyth turned around.  He scowled at me and waved his brandy.

“Have some balls man, don’t look so scared,” he said.

I snapped my face back into what I would have described as a normal expression.  “Not scared, sir, I just had cramp or something in my cheek.”

I repeated the facial tick, widening my eyes as far as I could, then squinting, widening and squinting.  He took a slug of his brandy and raised an eyebrow.

“Hmm, right.  So you got a handle on this then have you?”

“Yes,” I lied.

“Good stuff.  Knew you would.  Should be easy enough.  The people we suspect of helping out Ms Pingoveno will all be in there.  Plus a couple of others no doubt but you’ll know who they are once you find out their names, won’t you?” he laughed.  I laughed.


sleeping on the job?” Forsyth gave my chair a kick and I jerked back into consciousness.

“No sir, I wouldn’t,” years of coping mechanisms springing into action.

Forsyth grinned.  “Pulling my leg were you?  Haha!  Jolly good.  Like it.”

I nodded.

“Any questions?” he said.

“One or two,” this was my chance to try to make sense of this mess.  “Taxidermy?”

“Racket. Yes. She’s running it, we can practically prove it.”

“Here? In Kilchester?”

“Yes I know, I thought that was a bit odd too but apparently they piece them together and send them to the Far East.  Like a Baboon with a poodle’s head, that sort of thing.”

“Right,” I said.  “And people collect that sort of thing do they?”

“Apparently so.  Takes all sorts, eh?  Okay, enough chit chat,” Forsyth rose to his feet and picked up a file that had been lying on his desk.  A case file.  This case file.  “There’s someone I want you to meet.”

  • Xanto

    Man, I am liking this story so far. The Sleepy Detective is a great premise. Can’t wait to read more!